Everyone tells you to deschool, but no one really tells you how. Well… here’s your deschooling navigation guide. It is a time to fall back in love with learning and help your child see that they can take ownership of their education. Step away from the traditional schooling mindset and embrace a philosophy of lifelong learning and personal empowerment.
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What is Deschooling
Deschooling is a period of time where you shift away from your current schooling mindset and explore different learning pathways. It helps you let go of preconceived notions about education — a time to confront negative school experiences and unhealthy routines. It is not only for your child, but for parents as well. It does not mean you are not learning; you are just taking a step back, living life, and figuring out your plan. It is also a time to prioritize your child’s basic needs – a good night’s sleep, nourishing food, physical activity, and time outdoors. Often the busy public school schedule can impact the ability of your family to meet these core needs.
Why Deschooling is Important
Both children and parents have preconceptions about what school and learning should look like. If anyone in your family attended the public school system, then you have had experiences that have shaped your view of learning. You’ll need time to unlearn these preconceptions and discover that there are many ways to learn and approach home education.
Role of the parent: As a parent taking on a role of facilitating your child’s education, you may rely on your preconceptions about the role of a teacher. You might think that taking an authoritarian approach — with a strong emphasis on rules, discipline, strict schedules, lectures, and tests — is the best way to support your child’s growth. Or perhaps, you think a more permissive approach where your child has complete control and freedom is the path to take. During the deschooling period, you can explore these styles. Reflect on your parent-child relationship, parenting style, the language you use with your child, and your child’s level of independence and motivation. Unless your child is highly motivated and independent, most parents aim for an authoritative (not authoritarian) approach. When a parent takes on an authoritative role, they are firm but fair in their rules and expectations. They guide their child in building responsibility, setting and achieving goals, and fostering independence.
Your Child & Deschooling: This deschooling adjustment period can cause different behaviors to emerge as your child settles into a new rhythm and new dynamics. If your child had negative school experiences then they may go through a period of healing from that trauma. They may be holding on to anger and stress from their school experiences. This can cause them to behave in ways that they haven’t in the past; it can affect their sleep, eating, and relationships.
Your child may express big emotions about the loss of experiences that a traditional school experience provides. Furthermore, they may express limiting beliefs that they internalized from school and other past experiences. These may sound like “I’m stupid” “I can’t do anything right” “I’m not good enough” or “I’m always wrong.” This can provide an opportunity for you to create space for your child, to validate their feelings, and help them process their emotions and overcome their limiting beliefs. These are beliefs, not facts; and, with support and encouragement their negative beliefs can shift. Consider their past experiences, your parenting style, and the language that the adults in your child’s life use. Determine what may be contributing to your child’s limiting beliefs. Deschooling provides the time to examine these factors, make adjustments, and plan for how to meet your child’s needs.
When Do You Deschool and For How Long
Some might tell you that deschooling should happen when you shift from public school to homeschooling. However, it is also beneficial to incorporate deschooling phases during times of transition or when facing new challenges in your homeschooling journey. While deschooling is crucial when transitioning from traditional schooling to homeschooling, it is also important to take time to deschool at other times of transition because your child’s needs will evolve as they grow and develop.
Many seasoned homeschoolers might advise deschooling for a month for each year your child was in school, but that may not be right for you or your child. The duration of deschooling can vary depending on the needs and circumstances of each family. You will know you are coming to the end of this deschooling period when you feel more peaceful, calm, and ready to move forward with the next phase of your homeschooling plans.
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Creating Your Deschooling Plan: The 3P Approach
Profiles, Pails, & Projects
Profiles: Build Your Learner Profiles
One step in deschooling is to build learner profiles for your children and for the adults in your household. You can look at this as your data collection phase. This involves identifying each person’s core beliefs, strengths, passions, goals, and areas for growth. Take the time to observe and engage with your children to understand what drives and motivates them. Give your child a chance to rest without pushing traditional school work and notice how they like to spend their time. Notice what they are curious about and the questions they ask. Notice how, when, and where their learning naturally happens to understand their preferred environments and sensory needs. By gaining insight into their unique personalities and learning preferences, you can tailor their educational experiences to suit their individual needs and interests.
Create a learning profile for you and all other adults in your household. It takes dedicated effort to meet the responsibilities of homeschooling. You need to take care of your own needs, know your strengths, and identify areas for your own personal growth. As you embark on homeschooling, you will naturally want to learn more about education, child development, and relationship building. Often homeschooling parents feel unqualified or incapable of taking on the role of facilitating their child’s education; they let their own limiting beliefs hold them back. By building your own learner profiles, you are modeling self-reflection and intentional, life-long learning.
Pails: Identify The Buckets You Want to Fill
Next, identify the subjects you want to explore and develop. Think of these subject areas as pails or buckets waiting to be filled with knowledge, skills, and experiences. Consider subjects like science, history, literature, art, music, life skills, etc. Draw inspiration from your child’s interests and brainstorm activities and resources that can help fill each pail — from hands-on experiences to field trips and community-based projects. Think about the activities in your daily life that already fill these buckets. For example, if your child takes piano lessons then they are filling their music bucket.
When many parents begin homeschooling, they usually plan for formal learning within core subjects, utilizing traditional learning methods. However, informal learning through everyday activities can also provide rich and authentic educational opportunities. Filling your child’s “pails” with hands-on activities, apprenticeship experiences, play, and real-world problem solving can be a casual yet intentional method of learning. As you take time to deschool, create your “pails” and begin to think of all the ways you can fill them.
Projects: Define Projects and Foster Self-Directed Learning
The final step to consider as you are deschooling is to identify real-world challenges and problems your child wants to explore; these will naturally emerge from their interests and passions. Tap into their dreams and goals. For example, your child may want to start a business, sew a costume, organize a lemonade stand, build a greenhouse, start a YouTube channel, write a story, perform at an open mic event, or make a movie. These projects will not only fill many of their “pails” but they also help your child learn to set and achieve their own learning goals. This is the basis for self-directed learning.
As a parent, your role is to provide the resources, opportunities, and support that your child needs as they engage with their projects. This also helps to shift your focus from teacher-led instruction to student-driven exploration and from subject-centered learning to student-centered learning. Learn how to ask questions that steer their growth without taking over. This could sound like “What do you already know about this?” “What do you think would happen if…?” “How do you know this?” “What do you think causes…?” “Where could you look to find out more?” “Why?” Whether it’s conducting a scientific experiment, embarking on a historical research project, or creating an artistic masterpiece, empower your child to pursue their passions and explore topics that ignite their curiosity.
You are their model of lifelong learning. Consider what projects you are tackling — home renovation, learning a new craft, getting a career certification, etc. Learn alongside each other and model the same processes of self-directed learning, goal setting, finding resources, and reflecting on your process. In the deschooling phase, remember to ease into these projects because this is an adjustment period; you don’t have to go full steam ahead or it could be too much too soon. Ultimately, by giving your child freedom to choose what they want to learn and how they want to learn it, they will gain deep understanding, real-world application of knowledge and skills and develop into independent, self-directed learners.
In Summary
Deschooling is not just a temporary break from traditional schooling; it’s a transformative journey that lays the foundation to create a love of learning. Deschooling offers a valuable opportunity to address negative school experiences, challenge ingrained beliefs about education, and cultivate a growth mindset. It’s a time to recalibrate and create a more flexible and personalized learning journey that helps your child reconnect with their innate sense of curiosity. By embracing the 3P Deschooling Approach within your home education environment, you can create a dynamic and engaging educational experience that celebrates your child’s individuality and fosters a sense of creativity and empowerment
Download your FREE Deschooling Guide including 3P templates!!